Thursday, March 31, 2005

Romance

A couple days ago, my wife asked why I’m not as romantic as I used to be. She also asked whether all men tend to cool down showing and giving their affections to their partners once they “committed” to each other.

I, like many other people, don’t like hard questions and always want to be right. I would love to say, “I’m as romantic as I used to be,” but that wouldn’t be true. I realize that my affections are growing thin, as I get more involved in “supporting” the family, in areas of finance, setting goals in life, school for the children, immigration, the best time to visit our families and friends in Indonesia, and career.

I argued that planning and setting our future is priority. I just found another job with an architect with better income and lesser hours, we’re looking for a good investment to build our dream house, and we’re looking for a good school and safe neighborhood for our kids.

Our communication skills and team work has grown rapidly, shown by the progress we made since we arrived in New Zealand two years ago. With all of our achievement, why did this issue come up? Isn’t our future more important than romance? Do we not communicate fluently? Do we not have enough things on our minds to deal with?

The answer is no. We shouldn’t compare future and romance, as they are incomparable. The future wouldn’t mean much if your partner is unhappy, and focusing on romance all the time, means lesser attention to future plans. We still have to build our communication skills, because romance is communicating emotions and desires, real emotions and real desires. And as life progresses, more things will come to our attention and must be dealt, so might as well deal with it now and learn the lesson.

This issue on romance reminds me that “us” means the plurality of me, my wife, and our children, not just “family” as singular. I was too occupied in the singularity of my family, and forgot the individuals within it. If I can sacrifice time, money and thought for the family, I must deal with the awkwardness going to a flower shop.

Thank you, Love.

1 Comments:

At 8:03 PM, Blogger eLf ideas said...

Danu,
I really liked what you said in the ending:

"This issue on romance reminds me that 'us' means the plurality of me, my wife, and our children, not just 'family' as singular. I was too occupied in the singularity of my family, and forgot the individuals within it.

"If I can sacrifice time, money and thought for the family, I must deal with the awkwardness going to a flower shop."

Yeah, a bundle of flowers once in a while nourishes the heart.

 

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